"Suckle the baby, cockle the man...."

DAMN, thats why I love CSI, they always say something that makes me think.

This particular episode found a very powerful man dead due to his fetish....

INFANTILISM...

He wanted to be babied by his wife/mistress, for one of two reasons:

1. He will never love any other woman but his mother.
2. He was never shown love by his mother.

This really got me to thinking. I raise Kaeven alone and I for damn sure don't want him being a mama's boy.....
On the other hand, I don't want him missing out on his motherly love, bad enough, he's missing out on his fatherly love.....

As I further contemplate these scenarios, I find myself looking at all the men I have ever dated and their relationships with their mothers.

BD- His mother or father, they were busy getting high, so his grandparents raised him. Imagine selling drugs, being in a crackhouse, and seeing your mother giving head for a crack rock....

[In my head, Nas's lyrics to "Rest of my Life" playing...."My man gave his mommy coke/So she wouldn't hit the block all crazy for the smoke/DAMN NIGGA, could you picture you supplyin' your own moms/so she don't have to bone for DIMES?/Or give dome for nicks' in the roofs of the projects/where dogs shit and PISS...." I can't help but thinking of him everytime I hear that part....cause he did actually begin to supply her]

PCC- Never knew his mother, his mother left him in the hospital when he was born....his exact words, "My mama didn't want me...."

Derry- Loves his mother but isn't a mama's boy....

Puddy- Loves his mother.

My G'- His mother told me her stories of her drug binging days...and he too told me stories about being in ran down apartments with no lights....

The Filipino- No mother horror stories....

My ex- His mother suckled him. Was very overprotective and what not...but he loved and respected her. However, look at him now. (Refer to "We Can't Be Friends")

The love a man has for his mother will display in the way he treats you. This is something I've come to understand. No wonder my relationship with my child's father didn't work, he doesn't respect women. How can you, if you don't respect your mother? As for PCC, look at how he gets down....can I blame his mother?

Puddy, Derry, my ex and the Filipino, were/are very respectable chivalrous young men....shit, if it hadn't been for them, I would've forgotten how a woman is to be treated....

In short, I want Kaeven to be the best man he can be without having a positive father figure, at the same time I don't want to baby him. Thats hard when you don't have a man around telling you:

"Hey that boy is too old....":

"For you to be wiping his ass..."
"He can make his own cereal...come here boy..."

Thanks to my ex, Kaeven now wipes his own ass....
Thanks to my G, Kaeven now makes his own cereal...
Thanks to me, Kaeven now makes his own sandwiches and pours his own drinks (only if I have to mop the kitchen floor anyway, he misses the cup most of the time)

But without those few, brief male interactions, I learned its time to step Kaeven's "man" game up....

But as I stated, those male interactions are very few and brief.....
How am I to know when to step the game up a few more notches?
I'm not a man(although I have penis envy) and I can't teach him how to be a man.
I can just teach him what I know.

I guess what I'm asking is...
How do I know when I am being too motherly? When do I lay the chest shots on him? Or should I?

I don't want my son to be a "mama's boy", "gay", or a "womanizer".
I do know that my son, can never say my mommy doesn't love me!

[Side note: Today in the supermarket(do only white people say supermarket?..*lol*), after we left the bank and I gave him $5, he sees a "blaster"(his word for a gun) and asks me to buy it for him. I say, "You have your own money", so he gets it and tells me, "Thanks MOM, you're the best!!", I wanted to cry.....I think I'm gonna cry now...since we're not in the store anymore..]

I need MANLY advice on raising a son, I know my male bloggers are good for some advice.
Not that I'm having a hard time, but I just want to be "the BEST", which is hard to do when 2 people should raise a child and there's only one. You're bound to make some mistakes, where your counterpart would pick up where you fell off....

I know I would have a better shot raising a girl, cause I KNOW GIRLS....
But this man to man stuff....got me stumped....



Oh yea, thanks to all the X weed heads that give me encouragement on kickin the weed habit....I don't know what I would do without all of my blog friends and family. Yall are my support system, the one I never had.....
*tears*

Smooches...*lol*(Dynasty)
Thanks for reading...*lol*(RobMack)
Peace and another blunt of that hoodoo....*lol*(Insanity)
Don't slip...*lol*(Big Daddy Kane)

I still don't have a sign off...*lol*

Maybe I'll try....

Til the next time MUTHAFUCKAS(or any other cuss word)!!!...*lol* But yall might not like me cussing at yall....tell me what yall think?..*lol*